My Fellow British Citizens
Here’s the griff. A British citizen has been beheaded somewhere in the Middle East by a bunch of Islamic Fundamentalist nutjobs. Indeed, a fellow Brit has beheaded him as far we can tell. It makes you think the world is going mad, doesn’t it? But then again look at it this way. We – the British political class – have been pushing this multiculturalism, rub-their-noses-in-diversity thing for some time now, so we shouldn’t really be surprised that a British citizen has come over all Islamic Fundamentalist. We’ve made it OK to do all that Sharia stuff because we’re dead tolerant here in the UK. If you want to do Islam then that’s fine. Hell, we even have the BBC devoting an awful lot of that ‘Thought for the Day’ malarkey with Muslim folk encouraging us to contemplate the joys of Islam. I’m not sure if you voted for that, or if you mind your Licence Fee paying for it, but I don’t care really. Indeed, you could be forgiven for thinking that for a generation, or so, our mission in politics has been to bring the Enlightenment to Islam. Was that ever our role? I don’t know.
Anyway, the point I was going to make is this: we, the British political class have screwed the British economy in to the deck. Us politicians have spent decades bribing you for your votes so that we can provide you with a totally unaffordable, unsustainable Welfare State – itself predicated on growing the British population (and, with it, lots and lots of lovely, lovely votes for us politicians) with the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free and the wretched refuse of some other teeming shores (Calais for starters). Come to think of it, we’ve also been printing money like there’s no tomorrow to prop up the banks and the bankers who run them and who, consequently, receive salaries about which most of us can only dream – to this day. It’s great being a politician and being able to order the printing of money like that.
However, I digress. I have to admit that the game is up. We’re now as good as bankrupt as makes no difference. Consequently, the last thing on earth that the British Government – of any political persuasion – can afford these days is armed forces. They’re f****d, believe me. Anyway, let’s be honest, we politicians (bearing in mind that we’re all Fabians now) don’t really like all that elitism stuff that pervades the British armed forces. Elitism isn’t fair – as my Deputy, Nick Clegg is wont to keep telling us. Nick loves all that fairness shtick. So, it’s probably no bad thing that we’re screwing over the officer class.
So, as I was saying, we’ve ensured that there’s no way on earth that we, the British Government, can project power hither and thither to protect and secure the livelihoods of wretched souls like David Haines et al. We used to be able to do that, but not anymore. You can’t have infinite welfare and armed forces at the same time, you know; get real. That would be like having your cake and eating it. And do you know what? Someone had the idiot idea that we might be able to send in the SAS to rescue Mr Haines. I’ll tell you, these days we don’t have the military resources to run a bath let alone run a complex rescue mission half way around the world.
So, my advice as your Prime Minister is this: if any Brit is thinking of doing good overseas, forget it. You might come across another Brit who’s quite likely to want to behead you in the name of Islam – because we’re all multicultural and diverse in the UK these days … and there’s no such thing as British values, as such. If you value beheading one of your fellow citizens in a desert somewhere then that’s a British value as much as any other British value. Well it’s not really, but you can see just what a feckin’ mess we politicians have made of our society in recent decades.
Anyway, like I said, the world is going mad. Meantime, a bloke down the pub said to me the other day that maybe we should focus on the maxim ‘charity begins at home’. In other words, why don’t we ditch all this multiculturalism guff; why don’t we ditch allowing several cities’ worth of immigrants to arrive on British shores every few years and thereby cementing and ingraining the whole multiculturalism thing in to our society; why don’t we forget any notion of re-running The Crusades; sod bombing Islamic State (how do you bomb an ideology in to submission anyway?); why don’t we just focus on Britain and the British whilst there’s still a few of us left? Why don’t we hunker down and secure our borders whilst leaving Islam to strut its funky stuff elsewhere in the world? Why don’t we look after our own crumbling society and see if we can’t turn it around by focusing on what really matters? Why don’t we rediscover our Anglo-Saxon roots and salvage what we can of a thousand years of slow, progressive, societal evolution?
Well, I don’t really have any answers for that bloke I met down the pub. All I know is that we, the British political class, will continue to make a complete dog’s breakfast of running this country whilst being guided by our masters in the European Union. Oh, and on the dog’s breakfast front, look at the total mess we’ve made of the devolution thing, with a handful of British citizens – who just happen to be resident in Scotland this year – capable of disintegrating the United Kingdom after 300 years of productive peace and stability. I ask you.
I could go on, but I shall now draw my address to a close by saying this: if anybody out there has any brilliant ideas for running this country better than those of me and my mates in the British political class (and our masters in the European Union) then please send your ideas on a postcard to The Prime Minister, 10 Downing Street, LONDON, SW1A 2AA. We’ll ignore them, of course, and pass them to Herman Van Rompuy.
EPILOGUE: MORAYMINT SPEAKING
It’s important that we should live in a tolerant and inclusive society, and that governments should govern with compassion and with one eye always on the weakest in society. The United Kingdom, like so many nations after all, is a conglomeration of tribes which have coalesced – sometimes peacefully and sometimes following violence – over generations. The observation I would make, however, is that over the past, say, 30 – 50 years (a generation) we seem to have been on the receiving end of politically-motivated societal change which has been imposed upon us at breakneck speed. That’s the subject of another post. However, human beings tend to feel threatened by change being imposed on their communities and where that change is, by definition, largely beyond their control (emanating from unelected, unaccountable bureaucrats in Brussels, as it happens). That’s the situation in which we seem to find ourselves in the UK today. By virtually any measure you care to choose, British society has been subjected to an unprecedented rate of cultural, political and religious transformation over the past 30 years, largely without the prior consent of the electorate. Some of that change has been for the good, some not so. But it’s the disconnect between government and the governed that needs to be addressed. Much of what lies behind the current Scottish independence debate, and the fervour associated with it, has as much to do with a sense of alienation of Scots from the Westminster political Establishment, as it has to do with independence per se. The same can be said for UKIP’s popularity. See also my reply to gordon’s comment below. Have a nice day.